Talking about Sex…

I received the strangest complement on Tuesday. The gal who comes to clean my house told me that she had just texted her boyfriend to let him know she was here. Apparently he likes it when she cleans my place. I have to admit I was perplexed… but the answer was rather simple. When she comes over we talk about sex. Orgasms, toys, different experiences, things we like – things we are amused by. But every time she leaves she is horny…

Glad I could help.

Of course I spend a great deal of my time thinking, researching, and talking about sex (and as much time as possible enjoying it) but I’d never thought about the impact my habit was having on the people around me.

It is funny – but with everything out there that is available to us: porn, toy shops, how-to videos, chats, blogs, and erotica sites. Everything out there to join: swingers clubs, fetish clubs, sex clubs and BDSM clubs. Yet we may be feeding our mind with this stuff – but I get the impression that most of us aren’t talking about it to the people in our lives.

Apparently that is where I come in.

My friends love to say to complete strangers at parties – “Hi, this is my friend Emma, she writes Erotica.” At first it was for the shock value – but now it is more about the conversations that come out of it. Sex, like politics and religion, is something a lot of us were raised not to speak of. My sense was that this is a way to prevent friction in relationships yet there is no better way to build a relationship than to share, agree, disagree and agree to disagree. We can’t learn or change our understanding about topics or issues if we don’t talk about them.

OK – down off my high horse and back to sex.

I look more like Marion the Librarian than Jenna Jamison – which apparently makes it okay for people to tell me all sorts of things. They also assume I’ve been places and done things that are not a part of my universe of sex – but that assumption gives them the freedom to talk.

The conversations usually start off with a bang – someone drops something wild, everyone giggles, then once the ice is broken we move forward to the serious discussion.

At one party we talked about the sex clubs in town, at another we got down and dirty about orgasms, at a third we discussed different levels of bondage. One party the girls and I decided we needed to go out to Castle Superstore and go shopping – the recession happened and we all cut back our spending. Sex is free – toys cost.

I live in Portland, OR – which if you don’t know has become quite the sex destination. We still hold fast to our pioneer heritage which stated simply means – you can take it all off because I don’t have to look. Our strippers take it all off and we don’t care what you do as long as we have a choice of whether or not to join in. We also have a right-to-die bill and the legalization of marijuana has come up multiple times but never passed – but we are still working on that.

Club Sesso – a swingers club endorsed by Ron Jeremy, just opened up near one of our favorite bars. Discussion has raged about what “type” of people it will bring into the area – something I find amusing considering the Portland scene – you can find anything here including…

Angles Social Club, Steam – A Gay Bathhouse, Rose City Discussion Club – for those interested in BDSM, fetish and adult alternative sexuality, Nightshift-NW – swingers club, Roughly Every Six Weeks – fetishes and BDSM… and the list goes on and on…I didn’t even think to mention The Ace of Hearts with its sub-club the Ace Gang Bang Crew....

By comparison Club Sesso seemed rather run of the mill to me – but it was the first one to go mainstream with its advertising. The club even offers tours for the curious. I’m not sure what the worry is. Swinging appears to be an expensive lifestyle when you consider the number of travel and tour companies devoted to their interests. Those companies wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t the demand and the money to back it.

Amazing time we are living in - lines are blurring and what was once fringe is becoming mainstream.

Who would have thought that sex – and talking about it – would become a staple of my existence. Nice to know that I can write erotica and help people have sex… well at least the gal that cleans for me. Wonder if, when I finally get to Club Sesso, I’ll find any of the people I’ve talked to exploring their sexuality…

Licks!