Last Day of the 3 Quarter

And it sucks!

I had three short stories out on spec. All of which were supposed to have decision made before October 1st.

One: “The Bridge” the publisher pulled the plug on the project because…

“While many of the stories we received were incredibly well written, sexy and moving, we unfortunately didn't receive enough amazing stories to fill all seven books.”

So, “The Bridge” needs a new home, again.

Two: “The Rites”, didn’t make the cut but it was a long shot anyways. I dragged it down from a 4k story to a 3k story – which made it better in a lot of ways – nothing like severely limited word count to keep things tight – but there were many things that could have used more text to explain them. Sex and a complicated world both take time.

Three: “The Reunion” – haven’t heard yet but don’t imagine that is good… the editor on that project is usually very timely.

Hmmm… I’m starting to see a pattern in my naming conventions – but really I also have stories titled “Just His Mouth” and “3 AM” which break the mold… oh, and they need to find homes too.

This is the hard part that I don’t talk about here much. The grind that makes me doubt myself. Each of these stories was written for a specific collection on spec – and didn’t make it – then two were re-edited/written and sent out some place new where I hoped they would find a home.

Right now I’m in the process of redoing “Just His Mouth”, “3 AM”, “The Bridge” and “The Song’s Ending” all in the hope I can make them better, send them out into the world, and find homes for my orphans.

And don’t forget the novel I’m working on.

If the pain of these shorter pieces not finding homes is awful, just think how horrid the rejections on that are going to feel.

Okay, time to let the pain go… maybe do some yoga, have some breakfast, and get back to work. After all nothing worth having is easy… is it?

Licks!

Sometimes it is so hard!

I find it difficult to let go of my children.

I keep wanting to hang on for one more read thru, one more edit. Check one more word to make sure it is the right one. Play with the title one last time.

They are so vulnerable when they go off to the editors. Like delicate wisps of thought. Easily lost or misplaced.

Today I send off yet another short story into the grown up world. A slice of Hell.

I have a bit of a fascination with Hell and have a novel in the planning stages that I’ve wanted to write for several years. I just don’t feel I have the chops yet, but I’m getting them. This story is part of the path that will get me there.

Poor little thing.

Here’s hoping that it will be well received… and maybe I’ll drop one of the scenes I didn’t use into the blog… now there is a rather delicious thought!

Licks!

When Things Get Personal

Hopefully no one is actually counting blog posts.

If they are I should explain.

Something wondrous has entered my life, quietly on padded feet. Just as quietly he has turned my life upside down.

I don’t like to talk about it.

I’m afraid rather than my brutal honesty you are stuck with poetic glances that side step the truth of the situation.

The blog has fallen on hard times. I know I’ve been away a lot. It’s been difficult to keep my tone light and breezy. For several months I couldn’t write abot sex… that was awkward. Then I could but I didn’t want to as I watched my private life filter into my writing.

It used to do that all the time – I’d pull from my dates, my lovers, my relationships – but now I didn’t want to. It felt like a betrayal of a trust.

Every man I’ve dated since I started writing erotica has known what they were getting into. All were curious… Some even dated me because of it…

This was different.

I’ve met someone who took the time to know me. He didn’t assume or create an idealized image that only vaguely resembled me. He didn’t pick the parts he liked and try to change those he didn’t. He lets me be nothing more, nothing less than myself. I hope I do the same.

We aren’t perfect, my love and I, but we are honest.

That’s where I’ve been. What I’ve been up to and the journey I’ve embarked on.

If, like my friend Jeff, you are worried about me walking away from the sex – don’t! I’ve found my balance again and as we speak am working on a piece that takes place in Hell. And another about a man who equates women to flowers… he like the orchids best. I just had to push myself farther into my imagination rather than culling straight from my life. It took awhile.

I’ve also started my first full length novel. We’ll see how it goes.

For now, thank you for not deserting me, all the best!

Licks!