The Universe Knocked

Last night, on my way home from work I stopped off at my local liquor store for a bottle of scotch. The manager, Frank, and I had become friends over the years and discussed all manner of things from the weather, new liquors, to the uncertain habit of some whiskey distillers to use “flavored” oak casks to create new versions of their product.

We also talk about my writing.

I haven’t published anything in a loooong time. But a few things are still up and kicking in the Internet archives including Not Having Sex of which I am inordinately proud. Frank asked for the website again and it reminded me…

A year ago last week I wrote a short story on spec for a compilation of stories about sexy villains. It was accepted a few months later. A few months after that I received my contract. The next month I sent it back… and then, nothing.

So much nothing I put the prospect of publishing again out of my head. I’d had hoped that selling something would light a fire under my writing but my day job world had exploded and I no longer had the energy to focus on my writing life.

Then last night, after mentioning the story to Frank I went home, picked up my mail, and like magic there was my contract and a check!

My erotic writing has been on life support a long time, so many things have happened, changed, and shifted in my life, that I don’t know where to place my feet. It isn’t that I haven’t been writing, but I haven’t been telling stories. My current writing style is more therapy than craft.   

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I’ve come to the bend in the road. I do feel, once again, the need to place my thoughts out for the world to see, to explore sex, relationships, and writing. But I am no longer who I was. We never are – we are, as a wise man said, “the sum of our experiences”, and I do not yet know where they are leading me.

~ Licks!   

Love & Lovers

A lover and I parted ways last week.

It was sudden in the way things are sudden when you’ve know they were going to happen for so long you forgot it was possible. We’ve been friends for a long time, and lovers on and off over the years, but over the last eight months we’ve grown closer than ever before. Close enough that losing this aspect of him is like losing a part of me. We both have stressful demanding day jobs and found surcease from the woes of our daily lives during our weekly visits. The thought of surviving the next few months without the joy we found together makes my heart ache.

We talked last night, my friend and I. Talked about where we were, where we were going, and about what we share and how much we will both miss it. Our relationship was uncomplicated in the way lovers can be – caring and being cared for without the extra stress of day-to-day existence. We love, but are not in love. Now that he is moving on our relationship is about to get complicated as we work our way from lovers back to friends. Because we became so close over the last year our friendship is taking on a different flavor – one worth holding onto.

But it is an adjustment. One that has me sad, wistful, and grateful for the time we have spent together even as my body and heart crave more.

Last night he asked me if he’d hurt me. I didn’t think so; at least not in the way the phrase is usually meant. I hurt, but not because he hurt me. I hurt because I’ll miss that part of him terribly. We’ve known all along this was temporary. As much joy as we have together there has always been something missing. Something one of us would go off in search of one day. And he has. I sent my love and my blessing after him.

~ Licks my loves

365 Days of Writing

Welcome to 2013 – the year of writing.

Yesterday, in a fit of resolution making, I decided I would write every day for a year. I know it isn’t on par with Charla Muller’s decision to have sex with her husband every day for a year, but so it goes. No husband.

So, 364 days to go.

Today is day two – and the rules are very simple. I have to write 800 words or for 20 minutes every day. The 20 minutes is for those days when I have to focus on editing rather than putting words on the page. The two are also my default for free writes – my Write or Die is set on 800 words/20 minutes – so this is something I do often just not often enough.

It also doesn’t matter if it is journaling, blogging, or writing sex, just that I get my ass in a chair and write. 

Licks!   

Ass (firmly) Back in Chair

There is nothing like an unintentional hiatus.

I really didn’t mean to be gone so long, but the new day job ate me up and spit me out. I’ve been slowly coming up for air – nudging a few stories to see if they were still alive but mostly hiding under the blankets conserving my energies for the next day of work.

Then I got a huge dose of adrenalin.

An erotic fantasy short I wrote several months ago was accepted for publication. There are still hoops to jump so I won’t say any more until everything is signed, sealed, and a publication date on the horizon. It was the first new story I’d written with all my newly gained macro and micro story structure.

Thank you Larry Brooks and Randy Ingermansom, my wonderful critique partner and my 11^th hour editor!!!  

Of course I woke up this morning crazily motivated – and succeeded in doing more damage to my person than writing (thank god the knife was dull and slid around the tougher tissue of the vein – really didn’t think I could inflict so much bodily harm while loading the dishwasher) but the darkness is past and I’m here, ass in chair, writing.

Mostly writing thank yous to all the people who have helped me over the past several months stay sane, and making the first unsteady steps on my next project.

I truly believe – “Writers Write”

Funny the things that can get in the way of that even when you know the best thing for moving forward is simply getting your ass in the chair. I used to be good at getting my ass in my chair, but then there were health issues – I wrote through several years of them but I wasn’t writing well – then the wrong job – then the right job with a rather steep learning curve – and here we are.

Gotta get back to the new project, ass firmly back in chair.

Licks!

Emma

It's been awhile...

Hello out there...

Sometimes when I write a blog I feel like I'm sending my voice out into a dark empty cavern or deep space where "no one can hear you scream".

I went away to write a novel - and the novel swallowed me whole and spit me out a wiser woman than the one who blithely thought she knew what she was doing. I didn't. Novels are not short stories, or blog posts, and it took me awhile to figure out the structure. Thank goodness for all the resources not only at RWA and Rose City Romance Writers but though out the web (I'll confess more later).

They were great, but my learning curve was a bit of a bitch.

So I'm back - sent out my first new short story in ages to be rejected, or not. And I'm thinking about sex, stories, and sirens these days. Trying to get back into the writing/blogging/researching mode and I have no idea what will happen next - but where would be the fun if we knew.

~ Emma